Every time I work with women there is one topic that creates a deep "a-ha!" moment when I bring it up.
Most women suddenly realise they don't see themselves as a priority in their own lives, they don’t take time out to do things that are just for them, they give and give and don't keep anything for themselves and worst of all - they don't love themselves enough.
What is scary about this is we go about life, just doing, living on autopilot, and we are not giving time to the most important person in our lives: ourselves.
Growing up I never liked myself much, who I was or even my name. I felt insecure, and inappropriate. I had a huge lack of confidence. When I was a bit older, getting close to my 20s I found putting an effort into how I dressed and using make up made me feel ‘more confident’.
However I never addressed the fact I was not making myself a priority in my life, I never thought I was supposed to love me as I was and appreciate the great person I was, with flaws and everything.
It took me many years, making numerous mistakes and many hard moments to realise that I needed to love me and respect myself ahead of anything else. That this was going to be the key for me to live a more fulfilled life.
And a different more profound journey of self-respect and love started. And let me tell you: that changed my life. That was the beginning of the most positive transformation I have gone through.
And it is simple, it is just making the decision to make yourself your priority number one.
Here are four simple things you can start doing now:
1. Start your day doing something just for you. It can be meditation, stretching, journaling, a grateful list, exercise. Whatever works for you.
But instead of rushing out of your bed and getting into a ‘doing mode’ spend some time connecting with yourself (and the universe, God or whatever higher force you believe in) and plan your day, visualize it flowing and going the best way possible. You set the tone of the day in the morning.
2. When you get out of the shower and get in front of the mirror applying your moisturiser or brushing your teeth, look at your reflection in the mirror and say (your name) I love you, I really love you. Yes, it can feel weird at the beginning, but let me tell you it is powerful. Do this for 21 days (to read more about this check out the exercise by Louise Hay)
3. Go into your wardrobe and pick an outfit that make you look and feel good, even if it is casual and you are going to stay at home. Clothes are not just supposed to cover your body. Every day you can dress in a way that makes you look and feel great and it does not have to take a lot of time.
4. Spend an hour a week (minimum) doing something just for you. It can be getting a manicure or a massage, a lunch with friends, a walk by the beach, reading your book or dancing. Take time out to relax and recharge doing something you love
It can sound difficult to start with. You are too busy already you think. But I can assure you that when you start doing this and see the change in your attitude and level of happiness you will be happy to spend much more time on you. I thought 5 minutes each morning was too much. I am now happily spending 1 hour in my morning rituals most mornings, another 15 minutes at night and many more times for me during the day.
I am now committed to make myself a priority in my life and not living on autopilot anymore. I am in charge of my life and the results I get. And I know that if I love and appreciate myself and take time for me my days are just going to flow better and I am going to be more centered and connected to what is really important.
Would you give it a try at least for a week?