I cannot believe it's going to be the 31st of December in 2 days from now... At this time I have always loved taking an inventory of what's happened during the year.
Truth be told I have spent most of the year feeling like a loser. There is this very specific goal in one area of my life that I have felt I have let myself down in.
Reflecting today on what this year has been about for me, I realised it has in fact been the best year of my life... and by far.
So many dreams came true.... I am still pinching myself.
Growing up I had a very strong belief that I wasn't worthy of any happiness and that I was not going to do much in my life.
I have experienced some very tough moments where I wanted to give up on everything, including life, but I kept moving forward believing I could create something so much better for myself.
Because deep inside I wanted so much more... I have devoted a lot more time and effort into changing my beliefs and I can now say with absolute certainty that I have created a pretty amazing life.
This year, when one of my biggest dreams became a reality (marrying the most amazing man on the planet) I emotionally collapsed. A lot of painful feelings and fears came up to the surface.
I manage to over obsess with one particular area of my life- the one I mentioned at the beginning to sabotage my happiness. Because in the end I still had beliefs that I could not be this happy.
Really??? Did I make myself miserable over something that in the actual scheme of things was not essential to happen this year. I had so many amazing moments that I didn't savor as much because of being worried about this other thing??
A big lesson for me. And hopefully, it can inspire you too to be more compassionate with yourself. And more realistic!!!
I am making peace with what didn't happen, I am being more grateful for all the amazing moments I lived this year.
And most important, I am making a commitment to myself to worry less, and to be more present.
To enjoy my life on a day to day basis and to keep growing and allowing even more amazing things come my way. Because, yes! I can actually have it all. So can you!
We can all decide together that 2018 will be the happiest year of our lives.
Lots of love
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